Nathan’s Broken Back Update 2 – Counting My Blessings
I grew up in a lower middle-class family. We weren’t rich, but we got by. I had a job in high school during the 70s that afforded me the opportunity to have a car, buy clothing, and have lunch money for school. Life was simple. When I met Jesus at age 17, life became joyful with meaning. Back then, I attended an old fashioned Assembly of God fellowship in Texas. I loved that old church. It had long pews where elderly folks and young teenagers sat and worshiped the Lord together.
When Jesus found me, I was a lost rock ‘n roller. My music was 1970s metal. But after I got saved, I was introduced to beautiful hymns about Jesus, His blood, and His love for us. I have great memories of singing old hymns and one of my favorites was called, “Count Your Blessings.”
1 When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Chorus:
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your blessings, see what God hath done;
Count your blessings, name them one by one;
Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
2 Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.
3 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
4 So, amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
I love that song. As a young teen, I remember trying to do that – Count my blessings. My list was not very long. I was alive, had friends, loved my church, my family. But I had not lived long enough to experience some of the challenges mentioned in the song.
“… When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed …” (I did not really feel that I was being tossed about back then.)
“… When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, …” (I had not really suffered loss, I was only seventeen.)
Of course, I had experienced a few disappointments and letdowns, but at my young age, I had no clue what life had in store. Fast forward almost four decades. I am about to be 55 and now I know what the song is about, it’s about appreciation…
– It’s about being thankful to God.
– It’s about knowing that every breath we have is a gift from Him.
– It’s about understanding that tears are temporary and eventually our tears turn into a smile.
– It’s about knowing that God is there to hold our hand.
And it is about other things – that it could have been worse.
– The pain could’ve been worse.
– The damage could’ve been worse.
– The hurt could’ve been worse.
Granted, I understand that when we are in the midst of pain and hurt, sometimes it can be difficult to think this way. Especially, when we have lost loved ones, or when the report seems hopeless. But the song also mentions this, He will never abandon us.
“…Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.”
If we belong to the Lord, He will be there with us – all the way to the end of our life to help us and comfort us when it’s our turn.
Everybody Gets a Turn
I remember when I was young, I would often hear other children say, “my turn,” when they were playing a game. “My turn,” meant that one of the kids wanted to join in on the fun. It meant that it was their opportunity to participate.
Today, I’m older. As I look around, I see that the later years often include things that we don’t want to participate in. Why? Because they are painful. They’re expensive. And sometimes, they are downright scary.
When these things come about, none of us want it to be our turn. But unfortunately, the longer we live, one thing is sure, all of us will get a turn, and eventually our name will be drawn.
“But Lord, I don’t want it to be my turn!”
A few weeks ago it was my turn. My number was called and it happened. I fell off the roof and broke my back. It was unexpected and it happened on a happy night of all things. It was on the night that I watched game seven of the World Series. My home team, the Houston Astros finally won. Yes I know, baseball is fleeting, etc. but it still gave me a good feeling to see them win. Why? Because I have a lot of good memories of going to Astros baseball games with my father. He took me to my first baseball game when I was in second grade. I felt so special, it was just him and me; and back then a dream was born in my childhood brain – I wished that the Astros could go to the World Series and win.
That dream lasted almost 50 years, but this year 2017, the Astros finally went, and they won. I was happy that night. Woop, woop! But within one hour of their baseball victory and my elation, I was on the ground moaning, busted up.
I had no clue it was going to happen, which is the other thing about life. Life does not usually announce to people that it’s about to be their turn. Most people do not get an advance memo that tragedy is about to strike them. Yes I know, that every now and then, some people get dreams, visions or a gut feeling, but for the most part, most people are surprised when it’s their turn.
I was.
My turn was not preceded by a heavenly visitation that offered every detail in advance. An angel did not show up the day before to tell me that I was about to take a fall. My wife did not have a prophetic dream to tell her what was about to happen.
Is this unfair? No. This is the structure ordained by God. Our purpose is to live by faith.
Romans 1:17 says, “For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.â€
…From faith to faith, my friends. This means from one faith trial to the next, from one challenge to the next. It means that sometimes we have a minor trial but then the next time around it will be, “our turn.”
And when it is, “our turn,” God wants to see us trusting in Him.
It Was My Turn
So it happened. I fell off the roof. Boy did it hurt. Broken back, broken arm, bumps, bruises, sprained right hand. And oh…. the pain. I’ve told my wife several times that I would not wish this pain on anyone, even if I was sore at them.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve had a lot of chance for reflection, meditation, inventory, and one of the key things that I desire is that I learn everything I’m supposed to learn during this faith lesson.
This episode reminds me of how frail we are. It has really brought into focus that life is temporary. One day we are here, and the next day we could be gone. Which means we should never take our lives for granted. Nor should we take your loved ones for granted.
Our lives are a gift. Being a father and husband is a gift and a privilege. Having children is a blessing. Over the past few weeks, I cannot stop thinking of how close I came to making my children fatherless, or my wife becoming a widow. Those thoughts are very sobering. And I have spent the last few weeks telling my wife and kids how much I love them. I find myself hugging my wife and kids more than I used to. I find myself wanting to make sure that I have left them with good memories.
It was a close call. But I am thankful to God for His mercy. And perhaps God can use this event to help me share this message with others.
It is a message of loving your family, and enjoying them while you have the chance. Since this accident, many sermons have been birthed inside of me, and I cannot wait to share them.
I Am Blessed
When you’re busted up like this, everything changes. The simple tasks take longer… and may I stress, a lot longer! For example, in the past, taking a shower was easy… You’re in, you’re out, in five to ten minutes, you’re done.
But now, it’s different. I walk slowly to the bathroom. Donna wraps my arm cast in a plastic garbage bag and tapes it up. I remove the back brace, shower with one arm. My body is stiff. Kinda like the tin man. It’s a slow process. When I’m finished, my beloved wife has to help me get dressed. It takes a while. But, the other day when she was helping me, I remembered the hymn, “Count Your Blessings.”
I told her, “Donna I’m blessed.”
She said, “Why do you say that?”
I said, “Because I have you to help me and I cannot imagine doing this alone.”
It was true. I could not imagine being someone who was alone with the same injury. That would be very difficult. Some of the tasks would not be possible. So I am blessed that I have Donna as my caregiver right now. I am blessed that I have her at my side.
By the way, as a side note, going through this has given me an appreciation and respect for caregivers.
Caregivers are some of the best servants out there who are doing the work of the Lord. If you are a caregiver and you are taking care of a loved one, or friend… you are valuable!
And if perchance the person you are helping does not show appreciation or say that they are appreciative. As a person who is using a caregiver, I have to believe that in their hearts, they are appreciative for all that you are doing for them. One of the reasons that they may not show appreciation could be because they are frustrated with their situation. Or it could be that their medication has altered their senses. So if at all possible, please try to be patient with them, because their sadness or frustration could probably fill several diaries.
Slowly Getting Better
It has now been several weeks that I’ve had this injury. But day by day, I am getting just a little bit better. The back pain is slowly improving and for that, I thank the Lord because He is my Healer. I walk slow, as I just said, I look like the tin man when I walk, but that’s okay. It gives me time to contemplate.
